My Life In Myserie (an opinionated editorial column)
I’ve been doing this column for about eight years now, and I have received quite a bit of correspondence over the years about people liking or, more often, hating what it is that I have to say. I’ve been called every name under the sun, and a few new ones that I had to look up at the time because they were in a language that I didn’t know.
I’ve gotten death threats, as has my family. Which I mean come on. My wife has four black belts in various combat arts, qualifies as an expert in three others that don’t have a belt system, and is a yoga instructor. She’ll kick your ass seven ways and then bend you into a pretzel. I know, I’ve seen her do it. My kids take after their mother. Me, I’m fair game. My biggest fighting talent is viciously assaulting your fist with my face and hoping you surrender out of sheer embarrassment at how easy it is to kick my ass.
In the past eight years I’ve been assaulted seventeen times, stabbed twice, shot once, run off the road three times, and spit on more times than I can count. I’ve spent eighty three days hospitalized, nine of which were in the ICU. What can I say, I have an active and varied fan base.
My recent columns on the police force drew so much hate mail that we had to hire a temp worker to sort and read them and place them in different piles. It was gratifying to see that my words can touch so many lives.
However none of my previous columns have drawn the hate that the one I did on supernaturals did. If the police hate mail was a river, this was the ocean at high tide. Our temp actually quit over the content of some of the letters; it was so disturbing.
I can now say that at least a few supernaturals read my work, because if one out of ten of the threats of supernatural violence against me is credible then there are a lot of supernaturals who live locally. Seriously if you are going to send hate mail don’t post mark it from your hometown, that’s a rookie mistake. Also if you are going to use clipped letters or words from magazines, try and go for the larger print ones, small letters are hard to read when they’ve been cut out.
So far there have been seven arrests for terrorizing and one for terrorizing and public indecency. He pissed on my car. That was a new one, but doing it in the middle of the day was probably a mistake. Also the urologist called and said you need to watch your blood sugar, but the infection is clearing up nicely.
To the point, I do not hate supernaturals. I’ve never met one that I know of. My feelings on them are pretty close to neutral right now. I’m still in shock, as is most of the world, that they exist at all, but I hold no ill will against them.
As the papers call out says we’re actually looking to interview supernatural people to get their stories. I want transparency and I want people, all people human and nonhuman alike, to feel safe and accepted. My job as a columnist is to put forward my opinion of a situation and let my readership do what they will with that information.
So keep the mail, hate, love, and criticisms, coming. It shows my boss that I have a fan base and might get me a raise.
Note from the Editor in Chief: That’s not gonna happen.
Bình luận