Dear Dalyah,
I would like to start dating this guy who is a vampire. I am a human. How do I know he isn't just after me for my blood? Is there any way to test that?
Sincerely,
Not Bella From Twilight
Dear Not Bella From Twilight,
Alright, so two things. If you are dating a vampire and are worried about him sucking your blood, perhaps tell him? Your partner should be someone you trust, and holding back concerns early in a relationship ends up spoiling any potential fun you two could have. But, if you want my personal opinion on biting. It can really help out in the bedroom. There is nothing quite like the pleasure that comes from that prick into your skin. Does it hurt? A little at first. My dear, haven't you heard? The best kind of pleasure is one that follows a bit of pain.
Now I am not saying go headfirst into that deep end if you aren't comfortable, but if he is a good guy, he will appreciate it. Though tell your friends to let you know if you start acting differently. If you suddenly agree to everything he says, especially to things that you wouldn't do prior.
Not all vampires are evil, and not all humans are angels. There are just as many evil humans as evil vampires, and the same goes the other way. Personality will always be the deciding factor on how someone treats you, not their race. If he is an asshole, you will see the signs. If he isn't, and you decide to let him bite you, well then, you're welcome.
Remember you are loved,
Dalyah
Dear Dalyah,
I'm a beast-kin that's part octopus. I really want someone who will love me for who I am, but I worry about what people will say if I reveal myself. I feel like there is something wrong with me. What should I do?
Yours,
Ursula's Brother
Well, hello there, Ursula's Brother. ;)
I want to make one thing perfectly clear. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU FOR THE SKIN OR SHAPE YOU ARE BORN IN. Babe. I am sure you are gorgeous, handsome, beautiful, sexy, and more. Some people can have a hard time coming to grasp with differences, though, and that sucks. Trust me, I have gone through that. Guess what though, you are fucking mango mochi ice cream in a store full of vanilla. Vanilla is great and all, but guess what. I will go for mango mochi ice cream every day. Vanilla? Eh, I can take or leave it. Not everyone knows they like mango mochi ice cream, they have to try it first. I'm not saying force yourself on others, though. They have to decide they want it. You just be you, be proud of who YOU are. The rest will come with time. Additionally, I know some individuals, myself included, who find tentacles sexy. They are out there, be patient.
Remember you are loved,
Dalyah
Dear Dalyah,
My husband is a very lovely ursine shifter, and we've been together for nearly 600 years. However, in recent years, our intimacy has become strained. I'm concerned that we are drifting apart as he realizes that while he grows older, I will still continue to be the young, vibrant warrior that he fell in love with so long ago. Dalyah, what can I do to rekindle that heat of the battle spark safely?
For the Horde.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for reaching out 'For the Horde.'
Keeping the bedroom alive is a common problem that a lot of people have. So I want to first tell you, don't feel ashamed. I know that sometimes we can feel less than when our significant other shows a lack of interest in the bedroom. But I suggest talking to him about it in a very calm situation. Ask what you can do to help, he probably feels less than as well. Avoid pointing blame, it is no one's fault that you are in this situation; however, it is up to both of you if you both want to change it.
Start experimenting in the bedroom; as we grow older, our tastes change, in food, in scents, and even with sex. I don't know how much kink is currently in your bedroom routine, but try and switch it up. Introduce toys, ask your spouse to buy something he would like to try on you. Go to a playroom, there are plenty of people who go there to just watch and get ideas. I don't recommend participating in your first visit, and some places have rules against that. There are many ways to spice up the bedroom, but the key to it is to have open and honest communication.
When you both are ready to experiment, make sure, you set a safe word. Something that doesn't come up in everyday conversations, my favorite is Tanzanite. It is a beautiful gem, and I bet you won't bring that up in regular conversation. Most importantly, it doesn't have a negative association. Some people think that their safe word should be negative to get the point across, do not do this. This puts a bad taste in both of your mouths and perhaps discourages openness. You want your safe word to be something that makes you feel safe, not uncomfortable. During exploration, verbal encouragement on what feels good is essential and hot! Telling him he is doing well, will definitely help him remember to do that again. Especially if he hears you moaning for more. Who wouldn't want that, right? Finally, at the end of your experiment session, whether it ended in a climax or not, take time to talk about it. What worked? What didn't work? And be honest, but remember kind. Also, aftercare is not just for the BDSM world, everyone can benefit from it. I won't go into the details of it all, but please take the time to research what aftercare is and use it.
I hope this helps you out 'For the Horde' and brings you many more years of pleasure.
Remember you are loved,
Dalyah
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